Not everything is for you
Yes. That is right. 2021 was an absolute milestone in my life.
The biggest lesson for me was learning what it is that I absolutely deserve and what I do not deserve. It has been eye opening. In the past, I would settle for things because I always chose to see the “good” in the person or the situation.
Truth is, I just prolonged the pain. I prolonged the inevitable.
I truly believe the pandemic has been a catalyst for me in terms of truly knowing what I am worth and what I will not tolerate in my life anymore.
I have learnt that it does not matter how much you pay me. I am not selling.
If the culture is sick, the people are toxic, the career is misaligned, that person and I are not compatible, or my intuition simply reminds me everyday that I am not in the right place, I will leave. I am out. I respect myself too much. I have spent years building my own brand, knowledge and expertise and I learnt that if I sell myself short, I am only failing myself.
Getting here wasn’t a walk in the park either. People only see what is on the face; what they choose to see. I have had enough experiences to know what I will and will not sacrifice on.
I have a deep love for myself, something which is not replicable and I will not surrender that to anything, or anybody, who cannot give me my worth, or more.
In 2022 I will no longer accept anything less than my self worth. In anything and everything. I seek value, meaning and purpose. If the shoe fits, it will fit.
I will not accept mediocrity of myself or others.
People are not who they tell you they are. It is all an illusion. Like a hook to bait, almost everyone has a facade. I have seen the very face of deception.
2021 has been a year of promises and a year of disappointments. Investing time, resources and money into people and soon realising that they are a shell of their promises. A little bit like a McDonalds burger. Looks great, tastes shit.
I will no longer settle.
I will no longer take you at face value. I can see through it all — the fake ideologies. I am above that. 2022 is above that. I am no longer in alignment with people from 2021.
This year is about intent. This year is about meaning. Anybody that does not meet the brief simply won’t be around much longer.
This is not an arrogant move, but a calculated one.
Life is too short to be playing it safe. Life is more than a fucking instagram story and the new nikes you just bought. Who really gives a fuck?
Everything is about legacy.
If I had to sum up 2021 and give my two cents for 2022, it would look something like this:
- Change is your best friend
Life is fucking unpredictable — you have no idea what is coming next. You can plan and control, but you cannot predict a pandemic, a death, moving across the world etc. Change is your best friend. Become accustomed to change.
New environments. New challenges. New people. New opportunities.
2. Get far away from fake people
You will sniff them out quickly.
They cannot hide in the shadows forever. I have met many. They will bring you into their fucked up world, bring you down and effect your energy. Keep your distance. These people might seem great, but they are rotten to their core. People will always show you their scales.
3. Never sell yourself short
This is a big one. Sometimes we become so desperate, we start seeing the world with blinkered vision and begin to miss things.
Always bring it home. If you have some form of self awareness, you will know what you are worth. If you do not, I suggest you become acquainted with yourself very quickly. Know your worth, and then add tax. People will only value you as much as you value yourself. Highest bidders only.
4. If the shoe doesn’t fit, leave
If you are misaligned with a job or person, leave. If it isn’t for you, respect yourself enough to be honest and walk away. People and jobs will always present themselves, there is an abundance of both. Never put yourself a toxic culture or misaligned career path. Never stay with someone because it is convenient. The right people and job will present itself, once you truly begin to value yourself.
5. Self respect is important
If you do not have any self respect then you will forever be disrespecting your time. Wake up everyday and stand by yourself, because most of the time you will stand alone. People are selfish, they do what is best for them.
Self respect = integrity to self.
People will exploit you for as long as time continues if you fail to respect yourself. Self respect simply tells others who want to fuck with you not to fuck with you and places yourself in a position of power. It also tells those that matter that you are someone who means business, knowing what you bring to the table and trusting that you will always get it done.
Also, if they don’t respect you, get out.
6. Sometimes you need big fucking balls
Say yes to things you have no idea how to do, and then learn. Have self respect and stand up to anyone who is trying to knock you down. If people try their luck, make sure they know they shouldn’t fuck with you. Sometimes you need to carry yourself like you are a king, even if you feel like a pawn.
Sometimes you have to make yourself feel good, even when you are on the verge of depression. You literally need to say “fuck you” to anything and anyone who is trying to sabotage you.
7. Always try something new
Without a doubt, trying something new is daunting. However, it opens doors you never even once imagined. Put your hand up and give something a go. Live in a new city. Work a job that you aren’t sure you can do. Go on the date. Sing in public. You just never know what you will learn. It has been a blessing for me to have been exposed to so many people and opportunities. These situations, however, come with obstacles and challenges, but these are the things that have developed resilience.
8. Back yourself, always and forever
If there is one thing I am certain of it is this. You are born alone and you die alone. Do not expect others to back you. You have to back yourself. You have to have your own back. People will get on board if they see you have the confidence and the belief in yourself. People will always back the trojan horse.
In short:
• Sometimes you just need big f*cking balls, just do it
• Say yes to things you have no idea how to do, and then learn how to do it. If you can’t do it, put your hand up and be honest — but always always always make notes of the things you learnt
• We all suffer with imposter syndrome, it’s best to just be honest with it — more people feel it than you think
• Never sell yourself short, always know your worth and add tax.
• Some people just aren’t for you, let them be
• Always have the best intentions, even if people misunderstand you — you can sleep peacefully at night
• Change is your best friend, be ready for the unexpected
• Unpredictability is exhilarating, it keeps you living on the edge
• Avoid fake people, they will only deplete your energy
• Always take the path less travelled, it is liberating walking against the crowd
• Never forget about the dream that keeps you up at night, that is your deepest purpose and driver
• You will find your people, they will come when you least expect it
• The right people will value you. You know your worth, the right people will add the the tax for you
• Opportunities are abundant, keep yourself open to anything and everything
• Play the long game. Everything is about meaning and legacy. Patience is key, everything happens in divine timing — focus on the legacy
• You are more resilient than you think you are
• Sometimes when you lose yourself, it is an opportunity to become more aligned with your higher self
• Some people are just bad news, try not to get into ‘bed’ with them
• Never underestimate the power of a good support system
• Always be upstanding and hold yourself to high standards
• What you give out, you get back — be ethical and have the purest thoughts and intentions
• Sometimes we have to go through challenges because it is for your growth — a true test of character and resilience
• Always be curious — find your reason to stay up late and get up early
