Self Love = Self Mastery
Learning to love yourself is no easy feat. It feels like climbing a cold and icy mountain in a pair of trainers, shorts and a t-shirt.
No resources, no water, no equipment; a recipe for disaster. The mountain; the symbol of love, and you, this lonely warrior trying to navigate the environment without really knowing where to go.
Self love is a chore.
Choosing to wake up and love yourself isn’t always an option, and not always having an option makes choosing to love yourself a difficult decision, each and every day.
In addition to this chore, we are constantly bombarded with variables of life that can contribute to this decision; navigating the difficult days, the days you don’t feel like doing anything, the days you receive bad news, or just bad days in general.
As a masculine male who understands the importance of feeling, emotions, and how we need to consider our feelings and our logic in everything we do, I can tell you it’s not fun. I sometimes wish I was ignorant to this fact.
Feel into it, or don’t at all. Well, it sounds much easier than it is. It’s easy to feel into the good, the happy, and the glorious. It isn’t so easy to feel into the pain, anger, hatred, and shame.
Breaking the bond and pattern is one of the most difficult things I have ever done.
I came across this post today on Instagram.
The first slide had the question: If I understand that my reality in its every detail is simply a reflection of my own consciousness, how do I go about cleaning up my insides?
Now, if you have been reading my articles for a while, you will know that I am a believer of the idea that we live in a unique simulated environment, where our nature and environment react in direct proportion to our inner world; consciousness, subconsciousness, etc.
So, naturally, this question caught my attention.
I will share the depth of the post below, with my own reflective thoughts.
1. Forgiveness
According to this post, the first and most important step is to forgive yourself and everybody else.
Forgiveness is one of the quickest ways to rapidly clean up your insides and raise your consciousness. We forgive because we understand that every difficult, angry, mean, abusive, yucky person is our teacher, pointing us to the places within us that are still unhealed.
I know this is true, forgiving self and others is another way to free yourself. Everything and everybody is a part of us, reflecting back to us parts of ourselves that we need to look at.
When we change our narrative from victimhood (they did that to me) to conscious creator (they are helping me expand), we step into both our power and our liberation. As long as ANYTHING is still someone else’s fault, you remain a victim and thus MUST continue to attract situations win which you are victimised in some way.
Changing your perspective from a place of pain, suffering and victimhood, to a place of freedom, love, and forgiveness is the ultimate objective. We need to stop blaming people around us, and take responsibility for our own lives.
I’ve attracted loved and appreciation for quite awhile now. And the reason is that there’s absolutely no one in this world (or dead) that I feel angry with, disappointed by, hurt by, sad about, jealous of, etc. I understand that when I feel any of those things, I’ve simply forgotten who I really am: God.
And it’s true. We are God.
Creators of our own experience, and we’ve simply forgotten it.
Feeling into it emotionally and accepting this is not easy, especially when you are constantly reminded that you are powerless, tired, struggling, and desperate.
I haven’t forgiven everyone in my life.
I’ve struggled accepting and forgiving my parents.
I hold a lot of pain, anguish and resentment towards them, particularly my father. I feel that he is responsible for the difficulties I have faced in life, but know that deep down, he has only ever tried his best.
Most importantly, though, I haven’t forgiven myself, and because of that I hold shame, guilt and pain inside me for things that I believe I should be sorry for, when it is all a mere creation of my own beliefs.
You know, when you write about this, while reflecting on your own life, it is so easy to see the wood from the tree. But putting it into practice is a completely different story.
How do I truly forgive? It starts with me.
What does that mean? I do not know.
What does that look like? I do not know.
How do I get there? I do not know.
The only way out, is through, and that is the only certain thing I do know.
What really hurts is sitting here knowing you’ve put yourself through so much suffering, when it never had to be this way.
What for? I do not know.
As I process what I am reading, writing, and feeling, I feel a great sadness overwhelm me as I simply don’t understand how I have allowed myself to get to this point.
Why is it so hard to forgive myself? Surely I am not the only one suffering with this?
2. Live True to You
We have to live truly and authentically.
We have to be organic.
We have to live by our own belief system and ways.
We cannot be afraid to be ourselves.
Something I am so afraid of.
I am afraid of being me — I always have been. I just cannot seem to accept who I am, and it the hardest thing to live with.
I watch others around me do it so authentically, yet I just feel like a constant fraud.
When we don’t live true to ourselves, we end up feeling resentful both towards life and others who we see living their best lives. And whenever we feel resentful, we block what we truly desire from coming to us, which then perpetuates the resentment. It’s a vicious cycle.
Comparison is the thief of joy, and it has robbed me many times. I think, most recently, I have asked myself why I cannot seem to be happy anywhere I go, and in anything I do. I resent those who beam with happiness from the most simplest joys, yet, I can’t seem to be happy at all.
I constantly work towards a better life and yet, I push it further away. I just cannot seem to get it right.
To live true to you means to let go of everyone else’s opinion about you and your life, and to focus solely on what lights your soul on fire, because whatever lights your soul on fire is likely what you came here to contribute to humanity.
Seeking external validation is a problem. When you define yourself by others opinions then you are destined for failure. As it says, we have to be governed by our own flame, otherwise we are we but a slave to the opinion of others.
This means to give up pleasing others, and to give up caring what others think of you. What I found, ironically, is the minute I stopped caring, I grew infinitely in other’s esteem. Please respect those who have the courage and fortitude to follow their truth no matter what, and who say no when they mean no.
Creating healthy boundaries and saying no is part of the healing process. Self > others — something I used to be so good at. I used to be able to hold on to the solid walls in the darkness, but now I feel as though I am clutching at thin air. I have zero self esteem and it shows.
The only opinion I value about myself and my life is my own. When I need guidance, I turn within to consult with God/ my Higher Self (who of course, is me)
I need to continue to work on myself, my body, mind and soul. The only way I can increase my self esteem is to find more reasons to love myself. Accomplishment, aesthetic, love, and kindness.
3. Actively Bless Everyone
Something I know I am good at.
Blessing everyone around me; friend, foe, or unknown.
Actively bless everyone you meet and pass on the street. This seemingly insignificant behaviour will transform your life in ways you can’t even imagine. Why? Because as long as you’re blessing, you’re not judging, and whatever you put out MUST come back to you, and amplified!
Give, and you shall receive. Bless, and you shall be blessed. Something I have always truly lived by, and something I am proud to say I do and will continue to do.
The more love you give, the more blessings and abundance you wish for others, the more love and blessings you draw to yourself. The cherry on top is that it is absolutely addictive once you start doing it because it feels so good to love…why? Because it’s who we really are…so it’s when we are MOST aligned with ourselves. Bless bless bless! It’s a win-win.
What we put out, we get back amplified.
4. Rewrite All Painful Past Narratives
This is a tough one, and takes considerable time. It is very difficult to shift narratives, belief systems and ideologies that you have lived by for weeks, months, years or even centuries.
Rewrite all painful past narratives from the perspective of you being the only operant power in your world and you having chosen specific soul contracts with the major players in your life, in order to expand and rise in consciousness.
Making peace with the past is so important. We can’t move forward when we still hold on to what we left behind. Everything and everyone has a place and a purpose, and every encounter we have has some significant meaning.
This exercise, coupled with the forgiveness, will clean up your past for good. Do this until there is absolutely nothing about your past that bothers you. Also, if there’s anything you need to clean up on your side by apologising, do so.
Keep revisiting situations, people, or moments in time that you feel you need to make an amends. On a deeper level, we will continuously be taken back to points in time that need to be revised, revisited and let go of.
5. Clean Up Your Self Limiting Beliefs
Our limiting beliefs are our biggest enemy.
What we think of ourselves and feel about ourselves reflects back to us in our external reality.
In my experience, this is the most difficult thing to shake, as we are bound to these belief systems our entire lives.
Start by cleaning up your self limiting beliefs by first becoming aware of them. Sepnf a week carrying a little notepad with you (or your phone) and write down your thoughts throughout the day. You’ll have to be hyper vigilant as we have thousands of thoughts a day. So many are on autopilot.
Our autopilot beliefs are the hardest to overcome. How we truly feel about ourselves can be the difference between good and bad, success and failure and happiness and sadness. I feel that finding a way to connect with yourself and becoming accountable by monitoring our thoughts could be an effective way in creating the right affirmations for us.
Don’t judge them, just write them down. At the end of the week, take a good look at your notes. You’ll notice so much repetition and big patterns and it will be easy to find the underlying limiting beliefs that instigate your daily thoughts. Write down those limiting beliefs, then next to them, write down the opposing affirmation.
Finding a healthy place of non-judgement will give us the platform we need to move forward through our self-limiting beliefs, sitting with them, digesting them, and finding ways and affirmations for us to start repeating to ourselves in which we can progressively overcome them.
6. Consciously Flood Your Mind All Day Long With Those Affirmations
Something I used to be good at, but haven’t practiced for years.
Feel these affirmations to be real. Fill your mind with God thoughts of love, peace, harmony, health and wealth. Even just repeating those words all day while really feeling them, is enough. Your mind is always thinking SOMETHING so might as well give it something life-affirming to chew on.
It’s true. We can’t control our thoughts. They just come and go, freely.
Feeling is the secret, and feeling into these emotions of love will help us increase our internal frequency, changing our state from scarcity to abundant.
Choose to have abundant thoughts and feelings that are life-affirming can be the difference between living and loathing, and ironically, I have been there before, where it all made perfect sense.
7. Curate What You Feed Your Mind
Look at the shows and types of movies you watch, the content you follow on social media, the podcasts and songs you listen to, the people you surround yourself with. Ask yourself: is this life-affirming? Does it leave me feeling good and hopeful about myself, others and the world? Does it inspire me? Is it making me a kinder more loving person? Is it challenging me to grow? If your answer is no, get rid of it.
What we consume, we become.
We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with — physically, and digitally.
Asking yourself if something is life-affirming is a good place to check in with yourself to determine if something is good or bad for you.
Unfollow, delete. No need to judge it, just lovingly let it go, understanding that it’s not in alignment with your vision for your life. Find mental food that nourishes you. There’s so much of it out there.
Letting go of that which no longer serves you is just as vital. Aligning with everything in your alignment is key to nourishing your self and soul.
8. Actively Take Time to Connect With Your God Presence
We are all co-creators.
God-like beings, contributing to a fuller earth experience.
It is important that we do not forget that, as I often do.
We should sit in meditation, ideally right when you wake up, even for just 15 minutes, and contemplate the consciousness flowing through you that is animating your body and breathing you.l This is God. Give thanks to God for giving you life, for flowing through you, for making sure every system of your body continues to function to sustain your life.
Meditation; the key.
Something I struggle with, and something I still can’t seem to get right. Being able to sit with myself used to be an easy feat, but now it seems I just don’t want anything to do with myself. I feel as though I am avoiding the alone time with myself, because I just can’t seem to face the shame.
Really FEEL the pure love of this consciousness and life force. It loves you unconditionally and is constantly working on your behalf. Contemplate how this same consciousness animates all living beings and thus how we are ultimately the same, One, all individualisations or fractals of the One Source.
I know that deep down, feeling into the love and life of one and all is the only true way for me to feel into the self love for myself that I know is buried deep beneath the darkness of my being.
We are all one.
People are us.
Reflections of our own fractal being at different levels of consciousness, experiencing ourselves in this beautiful plane of existence.
The more you do this, the closer you’ll come to realising who you really are (God), and once you experience that, everything else falls into place.
We are God.
This is the game of life.
Playing it is the easy part.
Understanding it, is not.
Self mastery is the most difficult feat I have ever taken on.
Yet, I need to master it.
I need to master myself.
I need to love myself.
Yet, it all seems like an impossibility.
Until tomorrow.
